Mario vs. Sonic

Two of the most popular video game franchises of all time are Super Mario Bros. and Sonic the Hedgehog. Anyone who has seen both games would know that they have many parallels. Instead of worlds, there are zones. Instead of coins, there are rings. Instead of an Italian plumber, there is a super-speedy blue hedgehog. It would be hard to say that one game is better than the other at everything, so they will be judged in seven categories and whichever wins more will be better overall.

The characters themselves: The most important part of any narrative is the main character. On one side, there is a guy jumping around shouting, “Mario, yeah!” On the other, there is Sonic. Sonic is cool and confident, and anyone who has seen the TV spinoff Sonic Boom would know he is quite sassy. Also, Mario debuted in a game named for the villain, which totally downsizes his hero cred. Sonic wins.

The supporting cast: Both games have a wide variety of supporting characters, so this category will be broken down into subcategories. In the sidekick subcategory, there is Luigi and Tails. Tails wins because he is adorable, and Luigi is just a taller, greener Mario. On the villain side, Mario’s villains win because there are two of them, neither of whom have changed their name mid-franchise. With everyone else, it is a wildcard, but Sonic has Sticks. Sticks is a warrior, and she will not put up with your shenanigans, therefore Sonic wins.

The narrative: There is none for either of them. These are kids’ games, and kids do not care about plot development. Mario at least has the backstory of Princess Peach being kidnapped and Mario having to rescue her. With Sonic, you go from the title screen straight to level 1. Because it had some sort of plot, Mario wins.

The graphics: This category will only apply to the original games since the graphics for the newer games are basically the same. Sonic has the advantage here since it was released later, but the developers have given great attention to detail with creating the zones and characters of the Sonic world as well. For example, if you leave the game unpaused for long enough, Sonic will start looking at you impatiently. Mario never did that. Sonic wins.

The soundtrack: You already have the Mario theme song stuck in your head. Mario wins.

Studio cred: Where to begin with Nintendo’s many achievements? Mario is just the tip of the iceberg. They have also created Pokémon and The Legend of Zelda, among others. They have so many successful games that they can take characters from all of them and make one big fighting game (which they have). And what does Sega have? Sonic and that’s it. Mario wins.

Sequels and spin-offs: Super Mario Bros. has precisely two sequels. However, there are at least eight Mario Karts, 10 Mario Partys, and such classics as Dr. Mario and Mario Teaches Typing. Sonic is at least trying to change it up a bit. The most recent releases include Sonic Boom: Rise of Lyric, Sonic Forces, and Sonic Mania. Sure, Rise of Lyric does have worse animation than the show based off of it, but at least it is not Sonic the Hedgehog 10. Sonic wins.

So Sonic wins this whole shindig, four points to three. It was originally going to be Mario because it had those cute, little mushroom things, but then again, there is Sticks. The lesson people should take from this is this: be like Sticks, and do not put up with anyone’s shenanigans.